If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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