im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
