party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
