Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Randomize
