redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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