then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
