I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
