She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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