What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Someone came in the potted fern
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
