Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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