Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
