We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
