its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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