it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
