You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize