dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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