I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.