Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
