So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
where does the pee come out of this thing
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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