hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
