And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
