no, he came in my armpit
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I still have a little drunk in my system
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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