im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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