i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
