We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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