I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
