ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
