I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Randomize
