Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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