Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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