Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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