she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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