Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
