That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
