she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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