My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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