so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he fucked my hip out of place.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
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