ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
