like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
