They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
