That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
