went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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