are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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