my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
