just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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