So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
