I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
