glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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