I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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