how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
