I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize