I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
