I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
