Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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