then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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