Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
