so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Come on in and take your pants off
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