i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I cut my penus on the lid.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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