cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
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Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
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Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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