Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
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We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
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He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
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